SHARKNADO 2: THE SECOND ONE

A BITING REVIEW

By Lorenzo Vallente

Film Critics Circle '14-'15

Directed by: Anthony C. Ferrante

Starring:    Ian Ziering

                    Tara Reid

                    Vivica A. Fox

                    Mark McGrath

PLOT SUMMARY:

            The protagonists of the first movie are on their way to New York for a signing of their book, How To Survive A Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters, when another Sharknado begins. This time, the movie is set in New York. What havoc will the sharks cause in the Big Apple? Watch this fantastic movie and find out.

REVIEW PROPER:

       We all know this movie is terrible. I am not here to disprove that indisputable statement. I am simply here to defend the creativity, imagination, and brilliance of the filmmakers helming this disaster of a film. "Oh Lorenzo, what ever do you mean?" any sensible reader would ask. Well, dear educated readers, bear with me as I make my case.

      As stated before, this is a terrible movie. We know it and even the filmmakers know it, and there lies my first point. The movie is incredibly self-aware and it works much much better because of it. Don't expect the brilliant awareness of 22 Jump Street in this movie. However, why would you? It's SHARKNADO. Moving on, the movie knows it's stupid and the filmmakers go through the arduous process to keep it so. It piles on lots of bad jokes, unintentionally (or are they) hilarious scenes of drama and action that get more and more ridiculous by the minute. Again, this movie knows all this and winks at the audience every step of the way. By intentionally setting out to make a 'so bad it's good' film, it entertains us immensely in the process. And that's what we go to the movies for, to be entertained.

        Well, we have to talk technical so…

        The plot is absurd and has always been so. The acting is terrible, and the 'stars' make every effort to look as goofy and self-aware as possible, which (I suppose) is commendable. The directing is functional and sometimes has surprisingly good camera shots. The scene where the characters of Ziering and Fox are running to the roof has solid camerawork. The slow-mo sequences also delight. The scene where Ziering splits the shark in half in slow-mo is incredibly satisfying. The special effects are terrible. They look as if they were ripped out of a Gamecube game, but it's SyFy so you can't expect much more. The lighting is fine, as none of the scenes are too dark or too bright. It must seem ridiculous to critique this as a legitimate movie, but it must be done.

       It is also necessary to point out that opposed to other films of the Z-movie type (ex. Octoshark Megalodon Crocodile vs Anaconda), the two Sharknados are by far the least painful and most fun ones of them all. I think this movie is more aware than the first Sharknado and succeeds to be a little more entertaining as well. This movie piles on the cameos so keep your eyes peeled for famous faces hidden in tiny roles.

     Overall, as a film, it is utter garbage. However, as a piece of ridiculous, guilty entertainment, it is a masterpiece. Someone asked me if I found it disconcerting that people are now making intentionally horrible movies as opposed to trying to make amazing and thought-provoking ones. I answered that I did not. As long as an audience remains entertained and forgets about their worries for 2 hours, a movie has done its job. And I believe this movie passes that test with flying colors. Thank you, Sharknado, for making me believe in entertaining schlock.

          Sharknado 3 will be released in July so keep an eye out for it.

RATING: 10/10

                  

This review, by the way, was written by Rafael Bautista.

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb

Larry Daley (Ben Stiller), the night guard in the past 2 films, is overseeing an event for the Museum of Natural History in New York and uses some of the exhibits as part of his event but, things go wrong when the exhibits act out against the audience. It is later discovered that they acted out because of what happened to the Tablet of Ahkmenrah. The tablet started to corrode which made the exhibits act out. Ahkmenrah says that he should see his father since he knew the secrets of the tablet and that he did not know why that happened to the tablet. Larry soon discovers that Ahkmenrah’s parents were in the British Museum so he, his son, and some of the exhibits travel to London to discover what happened to the tablet and on how to fix it.

As the final film of the trilogy, “Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb”, is able to satisfyingly end the franchise as well as deliver a more or less enjoyable family comedy movie. First of all, this is Robin Williams’ final on-screen role (his last movie in 2015 will only feature his voice) and I think he was able to deliver as Teddy Roosevelt. He serves as the guide for Larry and does it well. His last scene is quite emotional because of what he tells Larry and how it relates to his life. Rebel Wilson is a lovely surprise as the museum guard, Tilly, because her scenes were very funny and she stole the show whenever she was on screen. I liked her so much that I wished she had more scenes in the movie. I also enjoyed Crystal the monkey as Dexter since she had some enjoyable scenes in the film.

Also, there is a cameo made by 2 certain celebrities near the end of the film that I thoroughly was pleased with because of the pedigree they have as actors and they are not usually seen in comedy movies. The CGI used in the film is fine and the exhibits brought to life are good to look at. The subplot between Larry and his son, Nick, is correctly handled since there is satisfying closure given between them in the end, though it did feel a bit like filler to the story since it was not that important to the story.  The ending of the film is one of the best parts because it is able to give the main characters of the film closure in their stories and somewhat emotionally give closure to the entire franchise as a whole.

This film though has its downsides and the biggest one is its plot. It falls under a very generic story plot that has been done too many times. For some people, the plot twist of the movie would not be a surprise because of how generic it actually is. The comedy is so-so since it was not bad, thoug, it was not that good either with most of the jokes directed towards kids but, there is one joke that I was surprised was in the movie because it was more for adults.

I believe that the native American Sacajawea was not paid too much attention in the film since she has a few speaking lines in the entire film even though she is seen throughout most it. Dan Stevens as Sir Lancelot feels very stereotypical in the way his character is supposed to be in the story. The rest of the cast give an okay performance, though it is not something to be bragged about. 

Despite the fact that they did not only change museums but also countries, the film does not take full advantage of it as it sometimes feels as if they are still in the same museum in New York. They do show though new exhibits never seen before. They do also go out into the London streets even if it was not that long.

In the end, Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb serves as a fulfilling conclusion to the 8- year old franchise with some standout performances and a good and somewhat emotional ending. 

DRACULA UNTOLD

by “The Cansinos”

SUMMARY: The movie is about a man named Vlad. When Vlad was a young boy, Turks, by the orders of their sultan, took him from his home, Transylvania, to be trained to fight for them. When he grew up, he returned home to Transylvania and claimed his throne as prince. During the Easter celebration of the Transylvanians, a Turkish soldier arrives unexpectedly and Vlad offers the usual tribute of silver coins but then the soldier declares that the sultan demands an additional tribute of 1,000 boys. Vlad refuses but his army is weak compared to the Turkish army so he approaches the Turkish sultan, Mehmed, and offers himself in place of the boys. The sultan refuses and demands Vlad’s son in addition.

Out of desperation, Vlad goes up into a high mountain cave to seek help from the vampire who cannot leave the cave. The vampire gives Vlad his blood and tells him drinking it would give him the powers of a vampire for three days but will also give him an intense thirst for human blood. The vampire tells Vlad that if resists the urge to drink human blood in those three days, he will turn back to a human but if he does drink blood, the vampire will be free from the cave and Vlad will forever be a vampire.

Vlad returns home and uses his powers to defeat the incoming Turks then he sends his people to a monastery to escape from them. During the journey through the forest, his wife learns of his curse but accepts that he will regain his mortality after defeating the Turks. Then, a mysterious man appears and proclaims himself Vlad’s servant and offers his blood but Vlad resists the urge and leaves the man alone. As the people near the monastery, they are ambushed by the Turks but Vlad and his men successfully drive the Turks away.

The next night, the Turkish army marches on the monastery and Vlad uses an enormous swarm of bats to repel them but the army turns out to be a decoy so several Turkish soldiers could infiltrate the monastery and take his son. His wife tries to defend their son but falls from the edge of the monastery wall and Vlad, even with his superhuman powers, fails to save his wife. His dying wife successfully pleads with him to drink her blood before the sun rises and he loses his powers so he could save their son. He permanently becomes a vampire and goes back to the monastery and turns a small group of survivors into vampires and together, they storm the Turkish camp with black clouds covering the skies. They vanquish the Turkish army and Vlad kills Mehmed and saves his son. The vampires confront Vlad and demands his son be killed for he is human but a monk keeps them at bay with the Christian cross. Vlad orders the monk to take his son and uses his power to clear the black clouds in the sky. The sunlight turns the vampires to dust and Vlad into a burned corpse.

Then the mysterious man from the forest who seemingly knew about Vlad’s curse takes him into the shadows and revives him. In the present day, Vlad meets a woman with a striking resemblance to his wife and they have a conversation about a line of poetry they have in common. The vampire who cursed Vlad watches him from afar and anticipates his future saying, “Let the games begin.”

Adrian’s rating: 4/5 stars

REVIEW: The movie doesn’t tell Dracula’s story but remakes it and Dracula himself. The movie changes Dracula from an evil bloodsucking monster into a good prince and a loving and caring father and husband who would do anything to protect his family and his kingdom. Aside from that, the plot was good. The actors really acted out their part really well and the special effects looked real.          

5/5 starsArvin’s rating:

REVIEW: The movie portrays a side of Dracula that isn’t seen in its other adaptations. For one, the movie focuses on Dracula’s humanity more than his monstrous side that people commonly know about him. He is a father who loves his family to the point that he risked the safety of his kingdom just so his son wouldn’t suffer as he did. In the movie, Dracula has shown fear and desperation, both very human emotions that other interpretations normally don’t portray him having. He showed fear that the Turks will attack his kingdom and fear that his family would get hurt. Yet, he also showed desperation when he confronted the vampire in the cave in order to gain the power to save his kingdom, and more importantly, his family.

                Near the end, the movie showed Dracula “dying” since he didn’t want to be a monster. This is a contrast from other adaptations and even the text since Dracula was previously portrayed to love being a vampire and not someone who wants to die. In my opinion, this more human side of Dracula was refreshing and made Dracula Untold unique compared to other interpretations of Dracula.